So here’s what I’ve been thinking…

So I am all moved into a house in Cedar Falls. I really like my roommates, my friends, and many things about being back in Cedar Falls. However, I am trying to force certain things, especially some relationships. I have been single for quite a while now, but I am content with being in this position for the most part. There are certain days where I really want to be in a romantic relationship and fall in love, but that means forcing it. That is something I am constantly trying to work on.

I get consumed sometimes with the thought of a relationship. Being able to vent to someone, share some interests with, hang out,  and just share my feelings with. However, do I want to settle or be patient? It seems kind of hard, but I know God is in control. It is just hard to trust God and all He has done for me sometimes. I know that He is always looking out for me, but He wants me to be faithful and full of Him. No wonder these thoughts have been running through my mind.

I just want to do what God knows best. Being faithful and true and honest, but sincere at the same time. I just have to be patient b/c God will take care of it.  It is hard to trust that though. I just get impatient sometimes because I do not know when a romantic relationship is going to happen. However, that should be exciting to me. Knowing that God is in control and that He will be there for all of us.

I know some of us are feeling this way at the current point and time. It is a struggle some days, but other days we are pretty good with being single. I just hope and pray we can give this up to Him. I hope our thoughts do not consume us and make us lonely. The truth is God is with every single one of us.  He will take care of us and grow in us. That is something we can rely on for life.

Long overdue

This update is long overdue. I apologize because I have been extremely busy the past few weeks. Here is a synapsis of what I have been doing:

-Was in Texas three weeks ago for my grandpa’s funeral. He passed away on 7/12/2009.

- Been painting my room at the parent’s house. Took a couple of weeks, but turned out really well.

- Family get together last week was a lot of fun.

- Moved to a new place yesterday, which I absolutely love. It is so chill and relaxing.

- Played a few rounds of golf with some friends, which I have really enjoyed.

- Made some new friends and been reacquainted with old ones.

Those are just some of the things I have been up to. Now I have to get ready for school in three weeks, look for a job, and just be patient with everything that is going in my life. I am really excited about it though, so more to come in future blogs. Thanks everyone!

Goodbye Grandpa

My grandpa was laid to rest this morning at 9:15 AM. I will miss him dearly because I just saw him three weeks ago. This week he had a couple of strokes, but stayed in stable condition. This morning he laid his head back this morning and was not able to be revived. My heart is heavy and in shock right now. I do not know what to think.

I will always have memories of going down for Christmas being around him. The laughs and good talks we shared. Watching Band of Brothers and other history type movies because they were his favorite. Going out to eat because he enjoy the company of family and friends. So many memories just gone now. My heart will always beat for him and the love and goodness he showed everyone he came in contact with.

It will be hard to go down to Texas now knowing my grandpa is gone. However, I will try to be strong and know my grandpa lived his life to the fullest. I know God is there to take care of my grandma and be with her always. It is tough to think about the passing of my grandpa, but I know we do not live forever. I just pray he touched people’s lives in a profound way. God has been so good to me and I pray and hope that you know He is great to all of you!

Love is…

I don’t know why things happen the way they do for some families, certain people, and just the world in general. Why is there so much violence? Why is the divorce rate in America 52%? When will poverty and hunger stop? Those are tough questions, but one question I will pose… what is love?

Well I have a lot of feelings on love:

Love does not throw in the towel when it seems nowhere to be found

Love takes work because no one said it was easy

Love is inside every human being

Love is a decision of the heart

Love knows no bounds

Love breaks down walls

Love is vulnerable and raw

Love is expressed everywhere from music, art, family, and etc.

Love is free

Love is unconditional

Love is passionate and deep

Love is hard to describe

Love takes courage

Love is patient

Love is kind

Love is not jealous

Love does not record wrongdoings

Love is understanding

Love is caring

Love speaks through actions and words

Love never stops

And God is Love. Love is real

There are so many other ways to describe love that I probably cannot think of. I hope we all can share love and know that we are loved by God.

Always changing

I am always trying to figure out how life works. Why people die, where I am suppose to be/my purpose, how to handle relationships, and just learning from all my mistakes. It has been a long road the past four years figuring out where I am suppose to be, what needs to change, how my attitude/behavior should be, and learning what is important to me. I am learning to trust and be patient right now with God. I know He is working in me and everyone constantly.

Things have been pretty good ever since learning what God wants me to see. I know I do not want to be super sarcastic, a jerk, or just have a poor attitude in general. I know it is not my job to judge and try to change people because that will not work. I know it is smart to take romantic relationships slow and not rush into them leaving things awkward after they end. My life has taken some turns over the past four years, but I am so grateful for everything God is showing me.

I just want to say thanks to everyone for believing in me. My family and friends mean a lot to me. Thanks to everyone who has encouraged me or supported me in any way. I can not say enough about everyone who has been in my life and taught me valuable lessons I will not forget. Thanks most importantly goes to Jesus Christ who has taught me how to love, be a friend, and giving it my all for God. I just hope everyone wants to love and be loved. I pray that we all find simple joy and peace in Him.

Some thoughts about Texas

Hey everybody I am back in Iowa! It feels good to be back, but I miss Texas a little bit. My grandpa’s condition continues to stay the same and the outlook is not good right now. It was very eerie and hard to be there because he could barely get from his favorite chair to the bathroom. However, there were some cool things during the trip. Me and my brother went to a sweet record store near downtown San Antonio called Hogwild’s Records. In there my brother found a couple really good jazz records and also Radiohead’s “Kid A”. It was awesome and we then hit the Riverwalk, which was fantastic. Flying was not too bad either, besides the fact me and my brother had trouble fitting into our seats and a small delay that diverted our flight to Wichita from Dallas to stay for an hour then hop back on the plane and fly to Des Moines. Sometimes those things happen, but it’s good to be back!

I learned many things from the trip:

1) I enjoy being with my family because they are able to make me laugh and understand how I feel a lot of the time. I am truly blessed to have the family I have.

2) Airplanes are not built for people my size…more like 5′7″ or shorter. I demand to have airplanes be built for people 6′ or taller (yeah they already have much larger planes for traveling internationally hahaha).

3) My grandpa has a great attitude because he still was joking with me and my brother. I love that and admire his ability to choose simple joy in his current condition.

4) Texas drivers are terrible because they refuse to use turn signals anytime while driving.

5) I am always learning patience because I know waiting is worth it in many instances. Thank you God for giving me the ability to be patient!

Those are my current thoughts. I miss being around my grandpa to know he is in good spirits, but I know God has him under His care. Thanks to everyone who reads my thoughts and ramblings and until next time see you later!

Also, please keep the family of Ed Thomas and the town of Parkersburg, Iowa in your thoughts and prayers after the fatal shooting of Ed this morning.

Update from Texas

I am now in Texas until Tuesday and to be honest it is going to be tough for me. This will be a challenging few days in San Antonio. My grandpa is 88 years old and in very poor health at the current time. He has lost some weight since I saw him in December and his mobility is non existent. My grandpa is always tired and has trouble breathing. For me it was hard to walk into the room and see him in his current state. However, the first thing my grandpa said to me, “Andrew, how is your love life?” That made me chuckle a bit considering my grandpa’s current state.

Death is a hard thing for me to deal with at the current time. I know my grandpa will not live much longer and that his condition may not get better. However, my grandpa is still living life to the fullest. I know this week will be very challenge and hard for me, but I know God has a plan through all of this. I just have to trust that He will watch over my grandpa and love him.

That is all for now because it is difficult to talk about. I know God is around me and teaching me so many things. However, that does not make this situation easy at all. I just hope and pray that He will continue to help me grow and trust Him in every situation. Death is tough to swallow and deal with, but He knows our hearts at all times.

Let the summer adventures begin!

Alright once again I am terrible about keeping up with my blog. I have been busy with a lot of planning, organizing, outdoor activities, training, and spending time with family and friends. It has been an enjoyable start to the summer. The weather has been off and on (figures it’s Iowa hahaha) and I have got a lot of work done outside. This has given me ideas about blogging this summer… to write about my summer adventures.

What summer adventures am I planning? Well… things like camping, hiking, fishing, road trips, vacations, spending time with family and friends, and other fun activities. Summer is a great time to relax, get away for a while, enjoy moments with those you want to be with, and to experience new challenges. That is why blogging about summer adventures appeal to me.

Summer adventure #1 is to Texas. Our family is flying out in a week and a half to visit my grandparents in San Antonio. I only saw my grandparents for a day over Christmas and it will be great to see them again. Unfortunately, the circumstances are somewhat difficult. My grandfather’s health continues to become worse. We think that it is the start of congestive heart failure and he may not live through the summer. I just hope I get to share more wonderful memories with my grandparents and talk about them with others.

Well that is all for now and I will be blogging about my adventures to Texas in the next week or so. Thanks for reading and may we all continue to enjoy life and live every day to the fullest!

Expectations

Every single one of us has expectations or made expectations about someone. Did they work? Probably not because you or others feel judged. We expect people to be on time for work, dinner, hanging out, or what to look for in a man or woman for serious relationships. It is extremely tough for you or someone else to live up to expectations. It’s not going to happen, but that still does not stop us from critiquing someone.

I watched the movie Doubt tonight. It is about a priest (Phyllis Seymour Hoffman) in 1964 who is accused of “having relations” with a 12 year old African American boy. He is the only one in the school and the principal (Merill Streep) becomes suspicious of his actions. She confronts him about these actions and tries to justify for herself what he did was wrong. She does not take into account the boy might be homosexual (according to his mother), wants to have someone care for him (the boy is beaten by his father regularly), and just wants to be accept. Merill Streep’s character also does not take into account the pastor’s compassion, emotions, and feelings toward caring about the boy. She is very rigid, all about the rules, and comes off as very cold. The question is which feelings should be expressed and what should she expect from the priest?

I always wonder why we demand expectations. Are we just looking to satisfy ourselves? What do we expect from our families, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wives, or the Church? Do we expect miracles from our pastors? Do we want them to cater to our every need? Do you doubt or have questions? That last question should come naturally because maybe expectations or other aspects of faith we do not understand.

God knows we doubt, struggle, suffer, and feel insecure constantly. Issues about homosexuality, abortion, economy, environment, poverty, and things of culture weigh on our minds. How does faith play into these? Those are hard questions I do not have all the answers to, but what I can tell you is God knows your doubt and questions. He knows the expectations and burdens are weighing down on you, but you can go to Him (Matthew 11:28). Jesus Christ brought love and compassion, not expectations and judgment. We all need love and a need to want to grow in our lives. God will take you there and loves you no matter what expectations you feel, doubt and questions you have, or problems you face. I hope we will all treat others with love and respect, not expectations and judgment.

A-Typical?

One thing I have been thinking about lately (shocking I know hahaha) is are things in life typical? I mean there are things we all deal with and we feel like they happen consistently. Maybe they do and maybe they do not. It’s hard to say sometimes that it is “typical”. However, I am not suggesting that I know everyone’s certain situations or what they deal with one a daily basis. I am merely suggesting that things will change and not always go “typically”.

I mean certain things are repetitive. We wake up, eat breakfast, shower, go to work, and etc. Also, there are things we choose from time to time. The choice to drink, smoke, eat certain foods, spend money, bully, etc. All of these things are choices because we are able to do them or want to do them. There are also consequences to these actions and they are not always severe or physical. Some can be emotional, mental, or affect someone else greatly. However, I realize some things can be influenced genetically, but that should not explain everything. Constant happenings are not always “typical”, but they may have become habit.

However, the point I want to make is are our lives “typical”? Is everyone the exact same way? Does wearing certain clothing/certain music make someone a follower of Christ? No because the way people are defined much of the time are by their actions and character. These speak volumes about a person and makes someone unique and an encouragement. We all have unique talents and gifts that God has given us. I hope we can all use those and not think or feel we are “typical”. We are all worth it in so many ways and we need to realize this. God knows this and wants everyone to know it. We are not “typical”. We are unique in every single way from one another and I hope we can embrace that.